KAYAK MARATHON

CRAZIEST THING I'VE SEEN EVER - LET ALONE JUST TODAY: a squeaky ball of two baby bats, rolling around fighting on a footpath!

I've really enjoyed the past couple of days of working - I've had a nice sense of achievement at getting things done - even including the boring online US election stuff - and the TV work I'm doing is analysing a timeslot on Channel 4, which calls for many spreadsheets, which is a happy bonus! I like a nice spreadsheet.

Last night we met Leanna to go and see 'The Dark Knight'. Patrick is still out of town, so we wanted to keep her company. It seems she's doing really pretty well since the miscarriage, which is good.

We met in Chinatown and Leanna was a little late, which wouldn't have been a problem were it not for the fact that we had to stand and listen to offensive drivel being shouted into a microphone by a load of militant Nation of Islam people. Seriously, it made me so angry, the dude was saying stuff like white people are the devil and the only reason black men smoke weed is because they've been 'sissyfied' by going to church. I really don't understand how he's allowed to stand there saying that, when a KKK member spouting similarly offensive anti-black sentiments on a street corner would surely be stopped. It makes me kind of cross about freedom of speech. But only kind of.

Leanna eventually arrived and we had a pretty grody meal at a Chinese restaurant, then went to see 'The Dark Knight'. The cinema was packed, so I was relieved that I'd been so paranoid as to pre-book and collect the tickets before supper, then get us there super-early. The movie was every bit as amazing as the rave reviews led me to believe it was. Christopher Nolan was great at pacing everything for the maximum tension and I think he must direct actors really well, as Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhardt and Heath Ledger were outstanding. I even liked Michael Caine and I think he's the most overrated actor ever! (except in 'A Muppet's Christmas Carol'.)

We got home in time for the best episode of 'The Soup' I've ever seen. Keith Olbermann (presenter of 'Countdown' - a left-wing news programme on MSNBC) made an uncharacteristically hilarious cameo and Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes (nee Stephenson) were on to promote 'Spaced' which is only now being released on DVD in the States! It was a laugh riot, I tells you.

This morning, Max slept really late, but I used the two hours I lay perfectly still in bed to cook up a most excellent plan for what seemed to be a very sunny day. My wheeze was to walk to Georgetown and out on the tow path that Anne and I had cycled along to go kayaking that time. If, by the time we reached the boathouse, we felt like a bit of kayak action, then we'd get one and if not, we'd just walk back through the pretty countryside lane.

Max liked the sound of this plan, when he finally surfaced, and we planned to head straight out. Unfortunately - and almost improbably - we got sucked in to 'Three Men & A Little Lady', which was on TV when we were eating breakfast.

But soon the hilarious japes of Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and the mighty Steve Guttenberg were behind us, as we strode off towards Georgetown (looking out for rats on the pavement, natch).

We ducked in and out of a few of the lovely Georgetown shops, then got some sandwiches and went to eat them by the riverfront. The walk along the wooded path was just gorgeous, though somewhat unrestful, as we kept getting mown down by cyclists. But once again I was amazed that such a lovely walk was within just a few miles of our flat.

We were knackered when we reached the boathouse, but also exceedingly hot and the idea of getting splashed with cool river water really appealed, so we decided to get a kayak for an hour. I was so pleased, because I don't think Maxy really wanted to do it originally, I think he was a little nervous about it. But the moment we got out on the water, he looked like a natural and once again it was lovely to be on the lovely calm Potomac, surrounded by amazing countryside. And as if we didn't already feel enough like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, there were people on the far side swinging into the river from a rope attached to an overhanging tree!

We paddled in the opposite direction to the one Anne and I went in, heading upstream. There was far less floating around chatting this time and much more serious paddling, as we tried to get to a bridge in the distance.

Any longing I had to join the swingrope people disintegrated as soon as I realised that there was loads of grode in the river. There was a scum on the surface and big blobs floating by us. Max swears blind that it was algae, but I'm convinced it was raw sewage. Eugh.

The banks weren't teeming with wildlife as they had been when Anne and I went kayaking, probably because there were so many people on the water. But as we got further upstream, we came across loads and loads of hispanic people fishing.

We made it back to the boathouse right on time and rewarded our hard work with a delicious ice lolly before heading back home, this time along the side of the canal on a tow path that runs parallel with the path we were on before, right by the river. It was a lovely walk and there weren't any cyclists this time, which made for a more relaxing stroll. We saw the crazy fighting baby bats and also an enormous heron sitting in a tree.

We were utterly exhausted by the time we got home, but worked out that we'd walked about eight miles and kayaked two, so felt our exhaustion was justified. The only mistake we made was sitting down, as we were due to go out ten minutes later with Anne.

Fortunately she was running late too, but we were soon on our way to the E St Landmark cinema, our local arthouse movie theatre, which we hadn't been to yet. We hadn't factored in that the cinema's in quite a business-y area, and found it really hard to find somewhere to eat. In sheer desperation, we even ventured into the ESPN Zone (a bit like Hard Rock Cafe for sports), but were relieved to have to venture straight out again when told the wait would be 90 mins.

With 20 mins before the film began, we plumped for Ollie's Trolley, a buffet diner that looked a lot nicer than it actually was. But by that time, we weren't being too picky and managed to make it to the cinema in time to see 'Brideshead Revisited', which I've been really looking forward to, as it stars Emma Thompson, Ben 'mmm' Whishaw and Matthew 'swoon' Goode.

Unfortunately I came over all ill before the film started and spent most of the trailers (my favourite bit) in the loo, but not before seeing the trailer for 'American Teen', which looks wonderful. I've been getting excited just reading about it (it's a year-long observational documentary shot in an American high school), but the trailer nearly made me cry.

I felt rotten throughout the movie. It didn't help that the film kind of sucked. I was so disappointed. It's just really flimsy and insubstantial and I didn't think that Emma Thompson or Matthew Goode were particularly good. Michael Gambon and Ben Whishaw were the best things in it, but Hayley Atwell as Julia was like someone in a college play. And the lighting was really annoying (as it was in 'Mama Mia', too - I forgot to mention that).

I noticed on one of my many trips to the loo that the cinema is hiring - I could handle a job there. But I guess it'd be illegal cos I don't have a visa. Boo.